C3PO's secret
by al28894
Summary: Luke Skywalker was walking down the corridor when he felt a disturbance within the Force. This has got to be the craziest story I have ever written. One-shot and full of crack.


**C-3PO's secret**

**I kept thinking about this coalition that's called "the United Universal Federation" similar to the U.N. but with dimensional delegates. So my imagination went wild and here is the result. Enjoy!**

* * *

Luke Skywalker was walking down a corridor when he felt a disturbance in the Force.

_Wait, what the hell? _Luke thought as he spun around and walked to a nearby door that was locked after Luke tried to open it.

Then he heard the voices, coming from the room. Luke placed his ear against the door and by using the Force, he could now hear the voices as if whosever spoke them was talking just beside him.

-----

"...and remember, you must be in this room in the next two hours because –" asked a man's voice.

"– _They_ would come for me. You do realise that I am not a child. And besides, _they_ are friends of mine." answered a strange robotic voice that, upon hearing it, felt very familiar to Luke.

"Just remember it, alright? I don't want to explain to _Them _about you not being there. Also, I think you might want to read this."

There was the sound of paper being lightly crumpled and a few minutes of absolute silence.

"Don't worry, I will be here." Said the metallic voice at last.

"Oh, and one last thing." Said the man's voice as a metal-like 'chink' sound was heard.

"Use this only if you are followed." He said.

"Don't worry, I won't be."

Then, the tone and mood of the conversation changed.

"Alright, so that's it. I'll be awaiting you here in two hours. Now, I must go." Said the man cheerfully.

"Oh, and can you please pass my thanks to the Space-Time Witch?"

"Ok." Said the man as Luke felt another disturbance in the Force. Then, after a few seconds, the doorknob turned and as Luke backed up into the corridor, the locked door swung outwards to reveal the last thing he would have ever expected.

Standing under the doorframe, his bronze-goldish body glinting in the light, was none other than C-3PO.

*

"Master Luke, what are you doing here?" asked the droid.

"3PO, just what the hell happened in there?" asked Luke as he ran past the droid and into the pristine guest bedroom to see if the man was there."

"Master, are you alright?" asked 3PO as Luke spun around to face him, or rather his hands, for in the droid's left hand was holding what looked like a letter; and its right counterpart was clutching a rod-like device similar to the handle of a lightsaber.

"3PO, just who on earth did you talk to? And what exactly are you holding?"

"I'm sorry, master but I do not know what you are talking about."

"What, but I –"

"I'm serious, master but I really do not know what you are talking about." Said 3PO as he quickly held out the rod-like device to Luke's face and shut of his vision sensors.

Instantaneously, Luke felt from within the Force that something was going to happen but before he could react to it, 3PO pressed one of the buttons on the rod-like device.

Immediately, there was a bright flash and Luke Skywalker's serious face was suddenly drained of all emotion.

"Alright, master Luke." Said C-3PO as he rebooted his vision sensors. "You did not hear anything in the last five minutes, you will not remember this conversation and those 'voices' that you have heard are merely just hallucinations."

Then, the protocol droid walked out of the room, leaving Luke Skywalker in a blank gaze.

"Huh?"

-----

_That was close, _thought 3PO as he walked to the kitchens._ Thank the Federation for these neuralyzers._

Then, to 3PO's relief (if he could feel it), the droid had finally reached the kitchens. He walked in, shut the door, locked it, and read the letter one more time.

*

_Dear C-3PO_

_Due to your tyrannical Empire's downfall, we have finally decided to establish contact with your universe once again. In order to do so, you must sign you name, initials, or your serial number to the new peace treaty that is placed in our universe. You must wait in the same guest bedroom in the next two hours after receiving this letter and my assistant will be there to receive you. It is of the utmost importance NOT to be followed and if you encounter someone inside the room, you must use any excuse necessary to expel them out. This could be the turning point of the entire Federation and ultimately, the entire multi-universe._

_Sincerely,_

_(ICHIHARA YUUKO)_

_Grand Chairwoman of the_

_United Universal Federation._

_P.S. : Could you please bring me the some of the Nabooan wines for me, it would make things so much easier._

_*_

C-3PO smiled (internally) at the post-script. _Hmph, does she ever not stop drinking?_

Then the protocol droid walked over to the stove, ignited the burners, and held the letter to the open flame.

The fire instantly jumped from the stove to the paper, igniting it. Second by second, the carefully written words were consumed by the orange-red flames, burning the letter until nothing remained except a small pile of black soot on the stovetop.

_Well, at least the evidence is gone. Now, where is that cleaning droid...?_

_**THE END**_

* * *

**Wow, a Star Wars/xxxHOLiC crossover with a bit of Men In Black!? I must have been taking _way_ too much sugar when I thought of this! So that's it. Hah! if only Luke knew... oh well. Please review!**


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